It’s kind of a dreary Saturday morning, but the sun is making its way back. I have a lot to accomplish this weekend, but I have found myself craving the company of hot coffee and good books. As I look outside, the breeze blows the last bit of fall from the trees and I know winter is coming. Just this week we had another extreme dip in temperature and snow. My house is quiet and warm.
The quiet used to bother me. I seemed to always have the television on in the background, just to fill the space, even if I wasn’t watching or paying attention. Having lived alone for many years, the noise provided some comfort. Lately, I have been consciously turning it off to read or write…even to be quiet and think. I am less bothered by the silence.
My personal and professional life have felt chaotic these last few months and that might be the reason I have been wanting a quieter existence at home. I also have been sleeping better than I ever have before. Rest is a blessing. I think a byproduct of this quiet and rest, is hearing my own voice more clearly and the voice of story. I am more attuned to the frequency of my creative current again. The quiet is allowing space for exploration and risk, allowing the space for truth and vulnerability.
I am working on many projects at once, being led by inspiration, but also trying to show up to whatever project calls to me on that day. I am less worried about the outcome and more centered in the process. This feels new to me. I am filling a notebook with thoughts and scenes and quotes and essays. It is all jumbled together, but every page is sacred space.
The Universe is pushing me to let it flow in so many ways. I am reminded constantly that my agenda is not usually in step with the timing of my life unfolding. Patience is a virtue I will likely be working on for a lifetime.
I will do the laundry and clean the bathroom this weekend. I will work on applying for a second job. I will answer emails and work on a website. I will also leave space for reflection and quiet. I will find time to rest and listen.