Showing Up

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It is overcast and cooler today. I have my windows open and have been listening to the chirps and squawks of the birds around my apartment as I drink my first cup of coffee. It is finally summer and the freedom of building my own schedule everyday is bliss.

It was a stressful year in many ways, but I made it to the end. One of the main goals I wanted to accomplish this summer was to find a daily schedule that worked for me and to write again.

I had found my rhythm with writing non-fiction for a while, but only when I had a deadline. My novel and short story ideas would be present every day, but I could not get them on the page. I know it had a lot to do with fear and ultimately rejection. The longer you wait, the harder it gets to rip off the bandaid.

That’s what I did. I ripped off the bandaid and made room for my stories again. It’s been a week, five days of writing actually and in those five days I have shown up and produced work. My notebook is filling up, my pens are drying up and there are 17 pages of new work on my laptop.

I didn’t want to give myself a word count goal because that has tripped me up in the past. Instead I am making room for writing everyday and starting with at least an hour. I am finding I can write close to a 1,000 words in that hour and end up working for much more with outlining and research. Big chunks of time eek away and I feel satisfied and excited for the next day.

It feels good to come home to myself in this way. To be surrounded by notebooks and pens and stories. I am excited to see what I can accomplish between now and August, just by showing up.

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