Virginia Woolf has been on mind this weekend. I seem to be haunted by certain writers and I think she has been paying me a visit in spirit and offering inspiration. I watched The Hours during my snow day on Friday and have also pulled out my copy of The Virginia Woolf Writer Workshop by Danell Jones. I have had some dark thoughts this weekend about my worth as a person and I think she is leading me toward the light in terms of my writing practice and my life.
I still have never read her diaries because it feels like such a betrayal. I have blogged about it here before. I think I can learn from her discipline and passion and try to cultivate A Room of My own to heal in and be productive.
I know that I have a lot of work to do to find acceptance in myself right now. Part of that is killing the Angel in my house, as Virginia had to do. I have had to exert boundaries, emotional and physical this weekend and I know that the Angel in my house’s days are numbered. I am super busy with school/work stuff, but that is even more reason to turn off the t.v. and throw myself into creativity. I don’t have anything that recharges me at the moment. When I’m not writing or singing or taking pictures, I am living a half-life. I can set aside time every day for my creative heart to beat freely…even if it’s only for 15 minutes.
I also have to give myself permission to play. I can’t create freely when I hinder it with perfectionism. I can hopefully learn how to create with an open heart and allow myself to create badly – hopefully that can translate into my personal life too. Maybe letting Virginia give me the permission will make all the difference. I plan to post this all over my house – thank you Danell for the brilliant idea, The great writing goddess Virginia Woolf gives me the authority to write badly, paint outside of the lines and sing off-key. So there!