Believing is Seeing

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It’s been a rough couple of weeks. My family is going through some tough times and I’m having a hard time getting in a holiday mood. I have a tendency to shove all my unhappy feeling inside and isolate. This is the last thing I should do because it only makes the hard times and negative feelings worse.

I went over to a friend’s house tonight after school. I was playing with her young daughter who has just learned to crawl.  She is so full of life and curiosity. She is so pure and open to whatever adventure is around the corner. I usually feel that same curiosity and enthusiasm for life, even as an adult, but lately I’ve just been too sad.

It seems like the world is moving at warp speed while I’m destined to stand still and watch. I wish it were different, yet I can’t find any answers.

I struggle with confidence. I have struggled with confidence since I entered my teens. I don’t think it’s any wonder that I wrote a book about a girl who struggles with confidence as well, but Becca finds her power and learns how belief in herself can create miracles. I’m working on preparing the manuscript for a new e-book this season and I’m distressed that I still haven’t learned this seemingly simple lesson.

Some people say, “Fake it til you make it,” or “Act as if,” when you need to build up your confidence. There are a slew of self-help books that profess to have the confidence cure (my bookshelves hold a few) but I don’t know if there is a sure-fire fix.

I know that things will improve. My family will weather the storm. I will weather the storm too. I’m grateful to have good friends to remind me about my truth, even if I can’t see it right now for myself. As Becca learns in my book, believing is seeing – not the other way around. I think it’s time I learned that lesson too.

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