No internet and New, Scary Internships

I made it through my first week of my new High School internship, but barely. I’m soooo not used to waking up at 5 am anymore and that was crazy hard! High School is such a different feeling than elementary, which is logical, but even the demeanor of the teachers is so different. I like it and I know I’m going to learn a lot about the reality of teaching in an urban school and all that this entails.

I didn’t have internet access this week which sucked at first, but I got some reading and thinking done, which was probably better for me anyway. I saw Eat Pray Love last night with a friend and was very impressed. It in no way replaces the book to me, but it was nice to experience Liz Gilbert’s journey with such vivid images of places I have only been in my dreams – Italy, India and Bali. Bali looks like a paradise that I could get used to seeing every morning!

I’ve been on a quest of my own lately. In all honesty I seem to always be on a spiritual quest of sorts. Always searching. Always questioning. The way my mom tells it, this has always been the case. Even before I could talk, you could tell that I was looking around, observing it all and trying to assimilate it into answers. Once I could talk, I never stopped. Once my grandmother asked, “Mary, could you be quiet for just a minute? Please!” To which I stated, “No, grandma. I was just born to talk.” And that was that. She laughed and realized that I wasn’t going to shut up anytime soon.

Lately,  though, I have seemed to find some peace about who I am and what I believe in. It’s always bothered me that I believed whole heartily in things that are not popular. I’ve never really been able to come to terms with the “beat’s to a DIFFERENT drum” element of my psyche and soul. This is starting to change. This change will not always be comfortable or welcome and that realization is becoming more of a blessing than I ever could have imagined.

I’m not the Dalai Lama or anything, but I’m learning the twisted road map of my heart and soul and skin and all that. Surprisingly enough I’m following the dirt trails and have avoided any head on collisions. It might not make sense to anyone else, but it really doesn’t need to. Just that sentence means I am finally on the right path. The right path to what you might ask? Enlightenment. Freedom. Bliss. Joy. Peace. I don’t know. All of the above or maybe none of the above…but if I stay the course, I’m sure I’ll figure it out. And knowing that for certain is a blessing in itself.