In the book “Finding Water” there is a task that asks you to examine your friendships and decide who/if any of your friends you would take with you to war. This was a very interesting exercise because it forced me to look at my friends with an objectivity that I don’t normally have. Surprisingly, my list ended up being pretty small. This is no way implies that most of my friends are not amazing people, but they are not necessarily people I would be in a foxhole with!
One friend, however, would be perfect. She has accomplished great acts of courage based on faith, she is a friend through thick and thin, and we would definitely keep each other’s morale up. If I were to die, I know she would pray over me with dignity and help usher me on.
I had dinner with her last night and we laughed and talked for hours. She will never let me help, she always says I just need to keep her company. Her husband works on Friday nights. We have started sort of a date night for ourselves. We watched an incredible movie called “La Misma Luna” or “Under the Same Moon”. It is such a beautiful film.
Sometimes it takes a great old friend to show us a piece of ourselves that we forgot about. I sometimes forget who I am, sometimes it’s hard to see the forest for the trees, you know. Lindsay and I were reminiscing about the circumstances of our meeting over ten years ago. We were sophomores in high school and we found ourselves seeing each other frequently in a study hall for math. I had forgotten all about it until last night. Linds said she wanted to be my friend because she thought I was so “cool”. I laughed hysterically remembering myself in high school, the word “cool” would not have come to mind. She insisted that was why she had struck up conversations with me, that I was smart and had an air of subtle confidence that she didn’t see in other people our age. I wore homemade hemp necklaces and button-down shirts from thrift stores. She said, I was unique and seemed perfectly content with who I was, not looking to other’s for opinions of who I was inside.
This was so fascinating to me, and in hindsight, I have always marched to my own drummer, but I remember being very disoriented and anxious by that fact in high school, I wanted to fit in, but I was always a bit outside of the box. Had I conformed a little more, maybe Linds wouldn’t have thought I was cool and I might have missed out on one of the greatest people I have ever known.
I am blessed to be surrounded by a handful of people who have known me for so long, sometimes I can’t see my own evolution, but my friends have watched me grow and change. It was nice to hear what attracted Linds to me in the first place and that even when we feel disillusioned by ourselves, people can still see our essence. I take comfort in that.
I also take comfort in the fact that people take care of me. I never looked at it that way until recently, but I know if I ever needed anything – there are a handful of people I could call at all hours of the day and night. They invite me into their homes and hearts and the only thing I am ever required to contribute is my presence.
Friday nights with Linds and Sunday dinners with Em and Aaron. I never expected to be so close to the men my best friends ended up with, but I love and care for Aaron and Jorge as if we have known each other our whole lives. These people are my family, my soul-mates, and I am lucky to have them! In the future if I am ever confused about who I really am, I only have to look to them for the truth.