The essence of my dilema

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So out of nowhere I met a cool guy online. But now he is being ambivalent and vague and I am PMSing and my emotional levels are borderline to begin with today. I’m in a dilemma because I am very ready to be in love. I know everyone and their brother says it finds you when you are not looking. I think I am screwed because I have been anticipating my life partner, soul mate, what have you since I was old enough to dream.

Yeah, so romance and idealism cloud my judgment some time and it most definitely seems to be my downfall with dating. To make matters worse I have been hiding in my own insecurities for so long that now that I am putting myself out there I am in a precarious position. I am definitely not a super model, but I am a beautiful, talented, funny, unique girl – by the way that is what everybody says they want (don’t believe just read through five profiles on match.com), yet I am still single.

In the past I did nothing to put myself out there, I was too afraid of rejection. Lately, though, I have understood that I am getting back what I am putting out there. I have been very conscious of that.

Oh the rambling…. I just want to have that crazy roller coaster nervousness and be excited about the possibility of someone, knowing that they feel the same way about me –

Is that too much to ask?

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