I started working full time again this week for the first time in almost a year. I look back at that year and I know some important stuff has happened to me, and in me. I needed the break from the rat race I was running. I was miserable and creatively dried up. What seemed like the worst thing to ever happen to me, ended up being the best blessing in disguise. I have found myself again in the process. With the help of theatre group, family, friends (new and old) I have been able to heal my creative wounds and be productive again.
I had a psychic tell me about a year ago that my success with my art would be directly proportional to what time, energy, attention, and love I paid to my art. I wasn’t sure what to think of it at the time. Had I not spent time with my art, nothing had happened. In hindsight she was right. I was always thinking about art, but rarely doing it, thus I was not receiving many results.
Since the first of 2008 I have really committed to my mission as an artist. I still haven’t been perfect. I was operating out of fear and procrastination most of January. February, however was one of the biggest months for me, ever! I am writing everyday, I am getting supportive and constructive feedback, and I am also willing to release it, which I have never been able to do in the past.
A couple of months ago, I asked a friend’s stepmother to proof a short story for me. She is a retired English teacher and therefore a wonderful resource. When she gave it back to me, she really liked it, but was so surprised. She never knew I was a writer. In all honestly I have been writing since I was very young, but I never owned up to it or trusted anything was good enough to share.
I still have a long way to go as an artist, but I am getting better every time I write and there is a reliability in that. The psychic was right, the more I consciously commit and show up with my art, the more success I am achieving. I wish it didn’t take me so long to learn this lesson, but in the grand scheme of things, I’m sure I am right on schedule.